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**********************************************************************
*From:THE DRUIDS PROGRESS, Report #6. The DRUIDS PROGRESS is *
*published seminannually (Gods Willing) and is sent primarily to *
*the subscribing members of ADF. For Further information write: *
* ADF, PO Box 1022, Nyack, NY USA 10960-1022 (include a SASE). *
*All Items acredited to "the Archdruid" have been written by and *
*are (C) 1990 by P.E.I. Bonewits. All items created by other *
*parties are (C) 1990 by them. All opinions expressed, save those *
*specifically attributed to the Board of Trustees, are the opnions *
*of the individuals expressing them and are Not official ADF *
*policy. *
* Reprint Procedure: Neopagan, Druidic, Midievalist and all *
*cultural publications may reprint any material written by P.E.I. *
*Bonewits, but his copyright notice must appear in full. If more *
*than 250 words are excerpeted, one cent per word should be donated *
*to ADF. *
**********************************************************************
PAGAN MANNERS
OR
Are There Any Dead Animals in The Soup?
by Grey Cat, Members Advocate
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I can hear the outraged screams already. there are people out there
who believe that the very idea of "Pagan Manners" is a conflict in
terms; that "manners" are outdated, dishonest and hypocritical. Well,
think again. Manners constitute the only successful technique ever
discovered by humankind to enable groups and individuals, holding
moderately disparate views, customs or beliefs, to get along together.
There are things more improtant than manners; but, without manners,
its unlikely that a discussion will ever go to them.
Pagan manners are fairly simple and have nothing to do with which
fork you use or how to word an invitation. They have to do with
respect for others' feelinsg and beliefs. They most specifically have
to do with recognition of the fact that you should "judge not th path
of your brother or sister for their path is sacred." Manners are also
the only way of attempting to grant everyone the personal space which
each of us needs. There have been a number of attempts to write down
a list of "thou shalts" and "thou shalt nots" which will cover Pagan
life. Here are several tries made by four different people:
---------------------------------------------------------------------
MY OWN OPINIONS
1. Never assume that you are invited to a ritual or a nonpublic
gathering just because your friend is invited. Have your friend call
the group doing the event and ASK! (or call yourself).
2. When participating in a ritual led by a group of which you are not
a member, ask ahead of time what will be done. SHould there be
something in the explanation, or in the set-up of the ritual area
which bothers you, just quietly don't participate in the ritual.
3. Ask the person(s) officiating at a ritual before you place anything
in the ritual area; wear clothing or tools which might be considered
unusual; or add private energy workings to the ritual being done.
4. Never just walk out of a cast ritual circle. Ask someone in the
group sponsering the ritual to cit you a door if your eally and truly
absolutely have to leave.
5. Don't make comments on the ritual, its leaders or the amount or
quality of the energy raised during the ritual unless such opinions
are asked for by the leaders. Save it for your friends, privately,
after the ritual is over.
6. Vegetarians, Vegans, Strict Carnivores, Diabetics, and any others
with very strong food preferences: no one minds your asking quietly
and politely "Which dishes have meat (sugar, spices, hot pepper, etc.)
in them?" When planning a meal for mized Pagan/Wiccan groups, it is
strongly suggested that at least some of the dishes be vegetarian,
sugar-free, relatively non-spicey etc. At all times, within and
without the ritual context, always provide an alternative to alcholic
beverages.
7. While many people have become far less secrative about their
membership in a Pagan group, it is never, EVER, permissible to "blow
someones cover". Do not ever call a friend or acquaintence by their
Pagan name or mention their membership in a mundane situation. It is
also bad manners - and a symptom of social climbing - to call an
individual by his/her mundane name in a Pagan situation. It always
reminds me of an extra calling John Wayne "The Duke" at a local bar.
8. Whether you drink, take drugs or indulge in other similar behavior
is completely your own business. It is always wrong to urge such
behavior on any other individual. The majority of serious Pagan groups
absolutely do NOT allow anyone under the influence of drugs or alchol
to participate in ritual. Do not be offended of you are turned away
for this reason. If you are taking a psycho-active drug for a medical
reason it is very wise to check with the ritual elader(s) so they will
understand and can advise you if they feel the ritual might be harmful
to you.
9. Just because most Pagans/Wiccans are udner 40 and in reasonably
good physical condition, never assume that everyone is. Rituals and
gatherings should be planned so that those with physical problems are
not barred totally from participation. Particularly in ritual, be
aware that many more people than you might think are "mobility
disabled." Group ritual should take place in an accessable area and
some thought should be given to designating a safe place for those not
taking part in dancing to stand or sit. Please be alert to anyone to
whom help would be welcome. Help them to find a campsite which
minimizes walking - to the ritual area, to the privys, to the eating
area - whatever. Help them pitch their camp. Don't make them feel
unwlecome - most handicapped people have worked extra hard on their
magickal skills and may be able to add a great deal to the power in
ritual and to the success of the gathering.
10. When at any sort of gathering, please be thoughtful. Particularly
please observe true quiet after midnight. No one minds if you and
others want to stay up all night talking or whatever. Everyone else
minds a great deal if you stay up talking and laughing loudly and/or
drumming. Thoise hosting a gathering should take the responsibility of
keeping the noise level very low in at least some of the sleeping
areas - and designating it as a quiet area.
11. Do not allow yourself to get the idea that you know the One True,
Right and Only Path! Even if you really do have the conviction that
what someone else is doing is "wrong", "incorrect", "Left-hand path"
or whatever, just don't talk about it. It is perfectly permissible to
refrain from participating in the activities of those with whom you
cannot feel comfortable. It is not acceptable to express the idea
that they "shouldn't" be doing it. This is not to say that if you
know of criminal behavior on the part of a so-called Pagan/Wiccan
group you should not report it. We must also be responsible for
cleaning up our own act.
Paganism is glorified by its diversity. Please do not allow
yourself to express judgement by categories. Whether or not you like
or dislike blacks, Indians, Homsexuals, women, men, or whatever, keep
it to yourself! If you really and truly cannot feel comfortable taking
part in a ritual which isn't conducted according to the tradition you
follow or if you cannot be pleasant in company mixed with groups you
disapprove of, please just stay home.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
PAGAN/CRAFT ETIQUETTE by Soapbox Sam
Listed below are not hard and fast rules, but some helpful guidelines
for those who would function smoothly in a craft/Pagan environment.
1. Should you write to someone for information, always enclose an SASE
(Self-addressed, Stamped Envelope). Many of us receive several
inquiries a day. Sometimes just answering them, much less having to